![]() When we can clearly see what’s happening inside our kids, we can let go of our reflex to personalize it. The X-Ray vision goggles help us stay regulated, too!!! Everything you hope for when you are raising kids. The neurobiology behind secure attachment supports emotion regulation, the ‘pause’ before the reaction or explosion, insight, empathy, morality, relational skills, etc. Reflective functioning and mentalizing are consistently connected to raising children with secure attachment. ![]() Well like I mentioned, this x-ray vision is called reflective functioning and mentalizing. What on earth is the benefit of X-Ray vision? What’s happening in your brain, mind, body, and nervous system (which is impacted by everything that’s ever happened to you in that past) is influencing how you see your child in that moment. Our child’s mind, brain, and nervous system impacts their experience in the world. It’s kinda like it bounces off your kid and comes right back. This booster pack gives you x-ray vision back to yourself. Now our X-Ray vision not only lets us see into what is happening inside our child that is connected to the behavior we can easily observe, but it also let’s us hold in our mind the truth that our mind influences what we are seeing. Let’s take the superpower of X-Ray vision and add a booster pack to it. If the brain is behind, say, lying…well it stands to reason that we should consider what is going on in the brain when our kids are telling a lie. The brain is literally behind everything. What’s going on inside that is fueling this behavior? It’s the ability to see past what you can see (behaviors) and consider what is driving those behaviors. The researchers and scientists and academics call this reflective functioning and mentalizing. ![]() In attachment research and literature, we continually stumble into one common theme with regards to secure attachment. Why would I choose x-ray vision as your superpower over something cooler, like superhuman strength? Or becoming teeny tiny? Or shooting spider webs out your wrist? How hard is their accelerator being pressed?.Specifically x-ray vision that would let you peer immediately into what is happening inside your child. If I could give you any superpower, it would be x-ray vision, hands down. I said if you could have any super power…not any super hero. If you could have any superpower, which would you choose? ![]()
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